“Our character defects…have caused us a great deal of suffering throughout our lives and prevented us from completely aligning ourselves with our Higher Power’s will for us.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 43
Today I am at a fellowship retreat where I hope to experience relaxation, rest, and renewal. Unfortunately, this morning, a number of tenacious character defects reared their ugly heads. Among them are self-pity, feeling like a victim, and taking things personally. I now know that it’s my choice to either stay in this negative space or ask my Higher Power for help in getting out. Yet the negative space is so familiar, it can seem nearly impossible to break free.
At a workshop, I have a moment to pray and really reach out to my Higher Power for help. I can act as if, which for me is a way of surrendering to my Higher Power. It doesn’t mean that I have the power to get rid of my own character defects; it just means that I have a way of surrendering, of doing my best not to be in them. My Higher Power always, always lifts me out of that negative space when I make that effort and surrender.
I believe God’s will for me is to feel peace, joy, and bliss. Anything less is just my ego. By the grace of God and this program, I can let that go, one moment, one character defect at a time.
For today, I act as if I do not have to respond in my old ways. I surrender those old ways to God.