September 12

“One of the most direct and profound ways we can serve other members is by sponsoring them.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 60

Sponsoring people is a great responsibility. For me or any other sex addict to return to our old life means more agony, misery, and insanity.

A sponsor’s primary purpose is to help the sponsee work the Twelve Steps. After working the steps with my sponsor, I began to sponsor others, and I have found it to be spiritually challenging. I have learned what I am capable of doing and not doing for another recovering sex addict. I have become more compassionate, direct, and honest. In addition, I have learned that I cannot keep anyone sober, including myself.

When I first started to sponsor, I wanted to save every sponsee from the life I had lived. But now, more than ever, I realize that sponsorship is a two-way street. Recovery requires the willingness to do different things, such as working the steps. If the sponsee isn’t willing to do whatever’s necessary to stay sober, I have to be willing to let the person be. This runs counter to my character flaw of people-pleasing, but, from hard-won experience, I am more accepting of my limitations and thus able to let go. Like all sex addicts, I need spiritual help on a daily basis to stay sober. Today, I focus on sharing my experience working the steps, and I let God do the rest.

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Am I doing what I can to help the newcomer find recovery?