September 13

“They can help us see shortcomings that we have been unable to recognize on our own.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 44

Other people are a great tool for my recovery, not just my program friends but also the folks who drive me crazy.

It’s easy to maintain serenity when everything goes my way, but when someone does something that bothers me, that’s another story. At an SAA convention, I woke up earlier than my roommates. I decided to leave our room to meditate so I wouldn’t disturb them. Surprisingly, the only public hotel space without loud country music blaring at 5 a.m. was the pool area.

The first day went great. The next morning, I slept until six, and things were different. As I meditated by the pool, I realized someone nearby was smoking. The smell of cigarettes bothers me! Then a hotel employee began cleaning loudly. Then a father and son jumped in the pool, playing and yelling enthusiastically.

I became angry. Didn’t they realize this was the one place I could meditate? But it was a hotel pool, not a meditation center. My lack of peace was due to my character defect of thinking I should be in charge of the universe. Other people weren’t the problem; I was.

When I lose my serenity, it reveals a character defect. It is an opportunity to discover ways I keep myself in darkness and a chance to do something about it. I became grateful that these people reminded me of this shortcoming.

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Today I am grateful for people who aggravate me. They offer a window into me that allows me to grow.