View all:  Voices of Recovery

September 14

“For most of us, coming to believe is a gradual process.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 26

Early in recovery, I had a Step Two crisis. I was struggling to leave a relationship. Leaving meant leaving the house, the car, and the place where I conducted my business. I could not see how I would be taken care of if I left. I was still in the process of coming to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. Even though I said that my Higher Power created the universe, I did not see how this Power could solve my housing, transportation, and work situations. Somehow, I thought that my little problems were too big for God.

In coming to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity, I had to surrender and give up my ego. I had to come around to the fact that I am no less than, nor better than, anyone else in the fellowship or on the planet. Most importantly, I am not so powerful that I am beyond God’s power. The God of my understanding created the universe; how arrogant of me to think that this awesome power could not solve my life’s problems!

Today my belief that my Higher Power can restore me to sanity is more than a belief. It is a deep knowing, based on many experiences, over time, of being restored to sanity, one day, one situation at a time.

As I see the power of God working in others’ lives, I gradually come to believe that God can restore me to sanity. My problems are not too big, or too little, for a loving and caring Higher Power.