“As the reality of our shortcomings sinks in, we can bring them, in humility, to our Higher Power.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 38
Humility is one of the gifts I have received from the program, not to be confused with humiliation. The consequences of my acting out brought humiliation, especially when needing to admit my behaviors to my spouse and others. I felt ashamed of myself and of my actions. But to me, humility has meant surrendering my pride and ego and trusting that my needs will be met in spite of my shame.
In Step Seven, we humbly ask our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings. The inventory steps provide awareness and acknowledgement of our mistakes and weaknesses as well as characteristics of ourselves that we appreciate and like. In taking the Seventh Step, I asked my Higher Power to help me let go of the behaviors, beliefs, and resentments that had fueled my addiction. I did not insist that it was owed to me. I did not expect some particular response. I did not tell my Higher Power what I needed. I simply asked for help making changes. I knew I could not do it on my own and became willing to ask for help and surrender the outcome.
I remember that surrendering my shame is one of the changes I wish to make. In doing so, I make an effort to be of service to others because I am no better or worse than they are. If I could use some help, maybe they could also.
For me, being humble means letting go of my expectations, judgments, and resentments.