September 20

“Recovery, in the full meaning of the word, comes through practicing the principles outlined in the Twelve Steps.”

Tools of Recovery, page 2

I found that, for me, humility is feeling equal to the rest of the limited and human people who are trying to do and be the best they can. I’m not less than anyone else; I’m not more than anyone else. I accept my human limitations, striving for alignment with my Higher Power’s will for me.

It also means accepting that I cannot do some things on my own, and this means accepting being loved and being worthy of asking this Power greater than myself for help. I ask my Higher Power for help, and I let go of the outcome, whatever it may be, without deceiving myself into thinking I can control it, and trusting that it’s for sure going to be the best for me. This feels riskier than many of the destructive risks I took in my addiction because it involves deep trust.

This act of trust brings me to my “intimacy, deeper-heart section” where nobody was allowed for decades. I thought this room would be forever out of reach, but I realize that the Steps melt the locks, shake off the dust, and gently polish those rusty places in my heart—in healing, in hope, in grace.

Today I’m willing to try to stay open, honest, vulnerable, willing, teachable, patient, faith-filled, trusting, and be a positive-risk taker.

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God, grant me courage to take the biggest risk— learning to trust again. If it’s okay, I will start with you.