September 22

“We learn to accept that reality is not tailored to the limitations of self, and that hardship and loss are as valid a part of life as joy and pleasure.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 58

In my addiction, I thought the universe had wronged me in some way, allowing me to suffer more hardship and loss than I believed was my share. This sense of entitlement kept me out of the solution for years. In recovery, I have found acceptance. Who am I to determine whether hardship and loss are fair?

In recovery, I see a blessing I could never have imagined. The hardships and losses are bridges that have brought me the tools and serenity to help others going through similar situations. Grief enables me to comfort others. Abandonment reminds me to be present for those I love. Being a sex addict gives me the ability to help those still suffering, and remind them that recovery is possible through working the Twelve Steps. Our hardship and loss, paradoxically, can ultimately bring joy to ourselves and to others.

Embracing my struggles and pain, and helping others has brought another, even greater gift. I found a connection with something that I had buried and forgotten many years ago—my heart.

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Today I can embrace hardship and loss as schoolmasters, preparing me to benefit the people I will come in contact with in the future, including myself.