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September 4

“Meetings are places where we can drop our emotional defenses and get honest in a way we are rarely able to experience outside of the fellowship.”

Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 12

Before my recovery from sexual addiction, I had built a wall around myself. I rarely shared thoughts, feelings, or opinions with others, believing that if anyone really knew me, they could not possibly love me. Not surprisingly, all of my relationships were shallow, empty, and without emotional intimacy. My fear of being open and vulnerable did not allow for honest relationships.

When I began attending SAA meetings, I heard members being honest about their experiences, struggles, and emotions. I could connect with what they shared, and their honesty encouraged me. As I began to drop my emotional defenses, to risk sharing my feelings, experiences, and struggles, I found the honest, intimate relationships that I had previously longed for but had been too afraid to allow.

As I become more comfortable sharing who I am within the fellowship, I am removing barriers in relationships outside the fellowship. I am moving slowly, and I am careful to choose appropriate people, but I am starting to see the value of being myself in this world. The fellowship is helping me drop my emotional barriers.

I can risk being open and honest with others. My relationships will deepen, and life will be richer as a result.