“In making this inventory, we take special care to identify those aspects of our character that have caused harm to ourselves and others, so as to bring them forward for healing and change in later steps.”
Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 32
A guy in my group likes to say, “Our greatest weaknesses are God’s greatest doorways into our lives. Why? Because our greatest weaknesses are where we most need God and where we find God.”
I tend to run from my weaknesses, to seek comfort and safety in my strengths. But if my addiction has taught me anything, it’s that my strengths aren’t enough to keep me from acting out. I desperately need a Power greater than myself to deal with my addiction. Somehow, deep inside, I knew this. I searched for that power and begged for help. Unfortunately, I wanted that power to do magic, to fix my addiction without me having to lift a finger.
When I was finally ready to give up on magic and do my part, the question remained: how do I open myself to this power? Step Four is my answer. Through my moral inventories, I delved into my character defects and found my Higher Power right there for me, and not just for my addiction. Through the doorways of my greatest shortcomings, the best of me has been brought out by my Higher Power. That’s more than I ever dreamed possible. I had it all wrong; my comfort and safety became available when I searched my weaknesses.
Higher Power, help me to be open to you where you are, and let go of looking for you where you are not.