In meetings we learn how to live in the solution. Meetings keep our focus on recovery and on the importance of maintaining abstinence. Especially in the beginning of recovery, they give us a sober place to go rather than engage in addictive behavior. In meetings we share what is going on in our current lives, talk about our struggles and triumphs, and listen to one another’s experience, strength, and hope. Speaking in meetings can help break through our isolation and shame. We find, much to our amazement, that people usually identify with our stories rather than see us as bad or different. The Twelfth Tradition states that, “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions…” Personal disclosure is easier for us when we can trust that our presence and what we share will be kept confidential. We let each person tell his or her own story, and we avoid gossip.
We suggest you attend a number of different meetings before deciding whether SAA is for you. Attending a variety is helpful, as each has its own format and atmosphere. If you are having difficulty staying sober, you might consider making a commitment to attend a meeting a day for a specific period of time. If daily meetings are not available in your locale, you could commit to making phone contact every day with another sober sex addict.
Meetings also provide an opportunity to welcome newer members and to express gratitude. We have made lots of friends in SAA, and we are sure you will too. There are many ways to get active in a meeting by doing service. Often it was while doing these various tasks, such as setting up chairs or putting out the literature, that we were able to say hello and to start getting to know each other.
You may find yourself sexually attracted to someone in your meeting. Some of us have gone through this. Our experience is that these feelings usually pass. We do not have to act on them. We recommend discussing your attraction with someone who is not directly involved. This person could be your sponsor or another group member who you feel would keep it confidential. Talk with more experienced members.
You may not like all the people at the meetings. Don’t worry about it. The important thing is to remember why we are here. In time, we have learned to respect each other and tolerate our differences. On a daily basis we are all dealing with life as sex addicts. Some day you may be helped by the person who you thought had little to offer.