Friendship

Developing friendships in SAA supports us as we face the challenges of recovery.  The withdrawal process of early sobriety can be unsettling and scary if we try to do it alone.  Some of us are naturally sociable, but many of us have led solitary lives and have avoided people except for those with whom we acted out sexually.  Wherever we fall in that spectrum, we all have a lot to learn about relating to others.

Many of us treated others as objects: we saw people to whom we were attracted exclusively as sex partners; certain others were merely rivals standing in the way of our exploits.  Beyond our own selfish or manipulative needs, we found ourselves disinterested in people.  Some of us have been so completely absorbed by our addiction that it has left little room for the experience of anything else.  In recovery we begin to see that we are all much more than what we offer sexually.

None of us is perfect.  We try to give each other room to make mistakes.  We learn to trust, respect and support each other.  We learn to deal with conflict and to be honest.  We experience the pleasure of engaging in healthier activities with people whose company we enjoy.  Long-term sober addicts report that the quality of their friendships deepens and develops when they are not distracted by sexual compulsion.