When trying to break a habit, it is helpful to substitute a different behavior. As newly sober sex addicts, we sometimes did not know what to do with ourselves. We were on unfamiliar ground and walking into a meeting where we did not know anyone could be uncomfortable. Doing some service—even a tiny bit—can break the ice and make us feel more at home. You might join in and assist with setting up chairs or literature or just stick out your hand and say hello. This helps get our minds off our own problems.
Fundamentally, we do service by staying sober. Everything grows out of that. Being a sober member at a meeting on a regular basis helps keep the solution available to all. Each meeting has ongoing service positions, some of which are particularly appropriate for new members. Consider volunteering to be a “greeter”; the person who welcomes people as they enter. This position is an excellent way to get to know people. Simply staying after a meeting and helping to straighten up the room can do wonders, especially in early sobriety, when most of us feel pretty low.
Service deepens our program at every stage of recovery. No matter how new we are, when we reach out to others, we do as much for ourselves as for them. Before long, we will undoubtedly have the experience of seeing someone walk into a meeting for the first time with that unmistakable expression that says in a hundred different ways, “Help! I am new!” This is an opportunity for us all to reach out and welcome the newcomer, to help them know, as we have come to know, that they belong and can recover.