Tools of Recovery
Easy Does It
Many of us have lived our lives as if sex was the answer to everything and there was no such thing as enough. When we enter SAA, some of us have a tendency to turn the intensity that we experienced in our addiction toward our recovery. …
Progress, Not Perfection
Recovery can feel like a roller coaster. Sometimes it can seem like one step forward and two steps backward. Our progress may feel tentative. We may experience long plateaus in which it seems nothing is changing. If we relapse, we can feel terrible despair and hopelessness. …
Identify, Don’t Compare
When we first enter SAA, it can sometimes be tempting to compare our own behavior with that of others. When we concentrate on differences, imagining that their sexual conduct is much more (or much less) serious than ours, we make judgments that inadvertently reinforce our own denial. …
Rigorous Honesty
Rigorous honesty demands much more than what we wish to believe about ourselves and what we imagine others might want to hear. It takes courage and faith to tell the truth, especially when deceit and denial were a significant part of our acting-out patterns. Rigorous honesty is an element of all aspects of our program. …
Letting Go of Old Ideas
Distorted thinking is common among sex addicts. We rationalize and justify our acting out. We may be invested in seeing our behaviors as fun or as our birthright, without any sense of the harm we do to ourselves or to others. …
Thinking a Slip All the Way Through
In the throes of impulses toward Inner Circle behavior, our thinking becomes impaired. All we can think about is being relieved of our insistent craving. …
Looking at Consequences
One of the hallmarks of the addictive personality is denial, even in the face of overwhelming facts. Not one of us comes into SAA without some degree of unmanageability in our lives. …
Three-second Rule
This is a tool used for dealing with visual stimulation or addictive fantasy. As we go through life, we are not in control of what thoughts pop into our minds. …
H.A.L.T.
H.A.L.T. is an acronym reminding us to never get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Each of these conditions leaves us more vulnerable to our addiction. Together they can make for real trouble….
Book-ending
When upcoming events seem particularly triggering, it is helpful to arrange in advance to contact someone in SAA, both before and after. Occasions that we might want to book-end include: family visits, parties, business obligations, dates, or travel. …